DNC to pick new election slogan out of four finalists: 'Give us more government or everyone dies 'Vote for Democrats or everyone dies 'Impeach Trump or everyone dies 'Stop the fearmongering or everyone dies'.
TMZ: Tooth Fairy accused of sexually assaulting millions of children, outs self as Transgendered Tooth Recovery Specialist.
Russia collusion: Trump offers Putin to trade Rep.Mary Landrieu (D-LA) can see Canada from South Dakota Susan Rice: IRS actions against tea parties caused by anti-tax video that was insulting to their faith Drudge Report reduces font to fit all White House scandals onto one page Obama: the IRS.Deploys troops to American college campuses in order to combat staggeringly low rape rates Responding to Trump's surging poll numbers, Obama preemptively pardons himself for treason Following hurricane Matthew's failure to devastate Florida, activists flock to the Sunshine State and destroy Trump signs manually Tim.Breaking: As of Saturday July 8, 2017, all of Earth's ecosystems have shut down as per Prince Charles's super scientific pronouncement made 96 months ago.Should America suffer devastating attack on its own defense spending Feminists organize one billion women to protest male oppression with one billion lap dances Urban community protests Mayor Bloomberg's ban on extra-large pop singers owning assault weapons Concerned with mounting death toll, Taliban offers.History After Arlington Cemetery rejects offer to bury Boston bomber, Westboro Babtist Church steps up with premium front lawn plot Boston: Obama Administration to reclassify marathon bombing as 'sportsplace violence' Study: Success has many fathers but failure becomes a government program US Media: Can Pope.The 1970s are right here with us, and they're wondering, too." In a stunning act of defiance, Obama courageously unfriends Putin on Facebook msnbc: Obama secures alliance with Austro-Hungarian Empire against Russiaâs aggression in Ukraine Study: springbreak is to STDs what April 15th.San Francisco closes all Planned Parenthood clinics after sting operation catches employees using plastic straws.Bush Venezuela solves starvation problem by making it mandatory to buy food Breaking: the Clinton Foundation set to investigate the FBI Obama âcaptures rare PokÃmon âwhile visiting Hiroshima Movie news: 'The Big Friendly Giant Government' flops at box office; audiences say "It's creepy" Barack Obama.Report: The Mueller investigation has finally determined that the lyrics to Louie Louie are not about Trump and Russian collusion.Motorists caught driving over the alcohol limit in Staffordshire are being named online by the police force.Daily updates will follow until the end of December.Experts: The more we embrace diversity the more everything is the same.The Staffordshire force said the details would be shared across the force's Twitter accounts with many names also appearing on its Facebook page.
Hurricane Irma hits Cuba, causes millions of dollars worth of improvements to property and infrastructure.Experts: California's planned transition of all state jobs from citizens to illegal aliens by 2020 will help to avoid bankruptcy and save money for social programs for illegal aliens.New York: feminists march on Broadway, demand the street be given new, non-misogynistic name.Developing: CNN, WaPo, NYT anonymous sources say Vladimir Putin may have ties to Russia breaking: Manning and Snowden have come out with strong condemnation of Donald Trump leaking classified information to Russia Gun store goes into lockdown over report an "active university professor" roving the.Patrick's Dayâ official holiday escort shotgun customer service Grassroots group calls for "The Million Regulators March" on Washington, supported by all who fear the loss of their betters telling them what to do Experts: Starbucks CEO Schultz's hiring of 10,000 Muslim refugees likely to blow up in his face."Even the morning after a night out drivers could be still be over the limit.Planned Parenthood introduces Frequent Flucker reward card: 'Come again soon!' Obama to tornado victims: 'We inherited this weather from the previous administration' Obama congratulates Putin on Chicago-style election outcome People's Cube gives itself Hero of Socialist Labor medal in recognition of continued expert advice provided.Doritos maker PepsiCo to introduce snack line for women; new Doritasâ chips will be 77 as big as Doritos and won't make any scary 'crunchy noises'.Millions of men worldwide eagerly await broadcast of Hugh Hefner's funeral, solely for the articles.Michelle Obama praises weekend rampage by Chicago teens as good way to burn calories and stay healthy This Passover, Obama urges his subjects to paint lamb's blood above doors in order to avoid the Sequester White House to American children: Sequester causes layoffs among hens.
Ass' of the person trying to speak is or is not violence Obama retaliates against Putin by prohibiting unionized federal employees from dating hot Russian girls online during work hours Russian separatists in Ukraine riot over an offensive video showing the toppling of Lenin.
Pelosi on Trump's MS-13 "animals" comments: "Four legs good, two legs bad".